On the 26th of December, we had my partner’s mum to stay for a few days.She’s one of those ladies who is a firm believer in swaddling of little bubba’s. 

Noah loved to be swaddled, his arms snuggled up in the cocoon and he would sleep for hours. Ro, so far has yet to find a love for sleep. He doesn’t appreciate a good ol’ swaddle either, he breaks free and waves his hands around in quite a ‘cheese gromit’ fashion.

I had noticed that whilst being swaddled, he was a lot more angry about it than usual and was getting quite hysterical. My partners mum and I took it in turns for a few hours, jiggling him around trying to settle him but nothing was working at all, he was screaming like I had never heard him scream before.

My good friend Doll had gifted us with a digital thermometer for Roman, something with Noah I never really thought to get – back of the hand seemed sufficient. 

When I took the baby’s temperature it 37.9 which is high in such a little bean, I phoned 111 who made a speedy appointment at out of hours. Upon arrival, little Ro’s temperature was 38.8. The very cheerful old Jamaican Doctor wanted to blue light Ro to hospital but there was a wait on ambulances and as we weren’t far from the hospital I decided to be resourceful and make our own way there.

Roman was admitted that night with what we now know was sepsis, it was a gruelling stay – he stopped feeding and became very ill. It was absolutely terrifying, on the second night his paracetamol and ibuprofen top ups were late and his temperature skyrocketed, he was exhausted and everything seemed to be a struggle for him – he had also had two failed lumber punctures (which for those who don’t watch 24 hours in A&E quite as excessively as I do, is a pretty bloody big needle inserted into the lower back to collect fluid from the spine for diagnostic purposes) so was pretty sore. I am all for junior doctors/student nurses/etc practicing but it’s pretty tough watching anyone fuck it up so badly more than once, no matter what their title is!

During that night I had to face the reality that this little baby of ours was very sick and I didn’t really know what to expect next. 

By the third day of Roman’s stay in hospital I couldn’t bare the thought of anymore hospital food (which I am grateful for as I understand only breastfeeding mothers are offered this) and my partner insisted he would get us all a McDonald’s and we would sit and watch a film together in our little side room with Romey. 

The walk from the hospital to McDonald’s is a maximum of 15 minutes. Two hours later he returns (with McDonald’s under his arm) acting very very odd.

He sorta stuck to the outskirts of the room and was smiling too much to be normal. He has had this reaction after eating a bowl of Lucky Charms before so I did, actually, ask if he had eaten some Lucky Charms.

No was sitting at the little hospital bed tables with a Happy Meal, dipping his chips into a minging combination of sauces when I noticed Tre was leaning right in front of me. In all honesty, I didn’t actually realise what was going on, I think the cabin fever and exhaustion was at its peak! 

Then from behind his back he pulled out a small box with my ring in it, and said the usual words you say to someone when you ask for their hand in marriage and of course I said yes. Well actually I kinda made a donkey noise and then said yes. It was such a moment of surprise and elation, which then when I looked back over to Noah who was dipping his chips still, he just looked up and said ‘your getting married mummy!’ 

I think my ‘fiancé’ was then told off afterwards for doing it whilst I was in pyjamas and when my hands weren’t looking their best, but I am glad he did it then. It made a really shit experience, pretty lovely.

P.S Roman came home with us for New Year and has made a full recovery 🍀

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